Because why not?

What Is This Shit? Crap Products December 2014.

24 January 2015
This is late, yes I know, it was supposed to go up late in December but I'm having some Derp Brain issues and blogging is hard for me right now. I'm working on it.

You guys know I'm not afraid to write a rant review if I think something is shit but quite often I don't feel like there is enough to say about a product for it's own post, so every quarter you can expect a Crap Products post, giving a quick rundown of the stuff that I think was a waste of space (and money, oh how I weep for the money).
Mario Badescu Drying Lotion

This gets rave reviews everywhere, I don't think I have ever read what I would consider to be a bad review but this shit is a fucking waste of space for me. If you're new in town and have no idea what this is I wouldn't blame you, it looks confusing. Essentially it's a spot treatment product, you dip a cotton bud in, down past the amber coloured liquid and in to the pink sediment, then you pull it out and dot it on your puss filled mates that are hanging out on your face, it's supposed to dry them out.

It doesn't do jack shit for me. I put it on a spot that's coming up and the next day it's still growing, I put it on a spot I popped and the next day it's no better, the only thing I get out of this product is looking like I have a skin condition that is potentially contagious, a postie looked at me like I was diseased one morning and literally ran away from my house after I signed for a package. I want my $22 back. I'd also like my countless cotton buds back, they aren't exactly free these days.
Toss or Tolerate? Toss, this is a waste of space for me.

Kosmea Radiance 24/7 Youth Boost

Ugh, this. I didn't think face oils could be shit. I had two decent samples sizes of this so I got a lot of use out of it, I expected it to work similar to a rosehip oil but it was just a waste of space.

The oil is quite thick so I had two options, use a small amount and be rough with my skin trying to move it around my face or use excessive amounts so I didn't feel like I was trying to pull my face off. I opted for excessive amounts and figured the more the merrier because facial oils are the shit! I was wrong, little or a lot this did jack shit, I mean literally nothing, for my skin. I'll be sticking to Trilogy RHO from now on.
Toss or Tolerate? They are both used up so it doesn't matter

Edward Beale Moroccan Gloss Argan Oil Leave-In Treatment (For all hair types)

I'm not sure what it is about Argan oil but everyone raves about it, I have come to the conclusion that a) they are all shit or b) with the hundreds of dollars I have spent on them and the countless hours researching which ones are chock full of good ingredients I still have failed to find one that is good. I'm leaning more on the side of Argan oil is shit and my hair doesn't like it.

This leave in treatment is an asshole. It's a cream product that you apply to damp hair, brush through and then continue on with your usual styling. It all sounds quite wonderful and easy but it makes the hair seize up and feel like you have dipped it in sea water except you don't get any of the lovely texture, just stiff, rough hair that looks like shit and feels like it needs a wash. I hate it.
Toss or Tolerate? I'll be tolerating this for just a bit longer, I have other ideas on how to use it up without it making my hair feel like shit.

GlamGlow BrightMud Eye Treatment

I saturday sampled this. It does absolutely nothing. I'm not going to even waste any more precious typing time on it.
Toss or Tolerate? I have one pod left so I'll try to use it up in the near future.

Dr. Lewinn's Firming Eye Cream

What the fuck is the go with eye creams that burn the skin around your eyes and make you feel like fire ants are eating your eye balls?? Perhaps I should ask the team at Dr. Lewinn's because I'm clearly missing some vital information if they think a product like this is beneficial for the appearance of our eyes.

This looks like it could have potential, it's a gel so it should be hydrating but not greasy and it has teeny tiny shimmer particles in it which should reflect light and help camouflage dark circles and puffiness. But then I put it on and within seconds my eyes are watering so much from the burn that I have no option other than to stumble blindly to the bathroom and flush them under cold running water until my vision returns. I hate this shit.
Toss or Tolerate? Toss. I like my vision too much to put up with this crap

Cenovis Mini Bursts

The older I get the more in tune I become with my inner child, the best thing about this is that I also retain the knowledge of an adult so I get to look after myself, earn money, buy things and do activities related to all the things I love most, I think this is what it means to truly be happy. Anyway, moral of that little story is that I like to buy vitamins that are fun, usually I go for the chewable vita-gummies because yum, but I spotted these in Chemist Warehouse  and decided to add them to my daily intake of body loving noms.

Bad fucking idea (yes, even happy adults make stupid decisions apparently). While these chewable liquid capsules are really fun and right up my alley when it comes to different things I enjoy, they are packed full of artificial sweetener, I believe it's aspartame but I can't be 100% sure (tastes like aspartame) because apparently vitamins don't have to list ingredients like that. Obviously we don't want products like this full of sugar and they clearly chose to sweeten them for a pleasurable consuming experience but I, unfortunately, am very veeeerrrry sensitive to artificial sweeteners, they are a one way ticket to migraine city for me and I avoid them like the plague, I would legit prefer to be a fatty boom-bah and enjoy real sugar than go through the hell that artificial sweeteners take me to. After I purchased these I took two of the Immune ones (dosage is up to 4 a day) and within an hour I was singing the song of my migraine tormented people to the porcelain gods and chatting to my bathroom floor tiles while I waited for my pain killers to kick in. While I don't believe everything I read on the internet about artificial sweeteners being potentially dangerous to your health I do believe they should be mentioned on packaging when they are an ingredient in a product because some people need to avoid them for legitimate reasons.
Toss or Tolerate? Toss. It hurts my head just thinking about them!

Schwarzkopf Essence Ultime Mineral Strength Spray Conditioner

I wouldn't mind this product if it wasn't for the sent, it doesn't do a whole lot but I would be able to spray it in my hair a few times a day to use it up. I actually tried to start doing this only to remember that the scent is so obnoxiously overpowering that it is literally the only thing I can smell everywhere I go. It's kind of a spicy vanilla scent so it has the potential to be nice but when it overrides my most expensive perfumes it kind of pisses me off.
Toss or Tolerate? Toss, I don't ever want to see this again!

Edward Beale Moroccan Gloss Pure Argan Oil

I reckon this thing is a lying dirt bag of a product, it's not pure argan oil by any means, the ingredients list two silicones followed by argan oil so technically when they make a batch of this it could be 99% silicone and 1% argan oil, this does nothing for my hair other than make it look stringy. I could achieve the same results by rubbing some canola oil on the ends of my hair. Fucking useless.
Toss or Tolerate? Tolerate, it's in my bi-monthly beauty basket so I'll use it until the end of Feb to try to use some up before I toss it.

Mitchum Clinical Deodorant

This isn't really a bad product (review) but the packaging is bloody stupid! I can never manage to twist the damn thing up because it's so stiff! My little hands can't handle it.
Toss or Tolerate? Toss, I can't use it and all it does is succeed in making me swear a lot.

What products have you hated recently?

Links provided are for shopping examples only, I have personally purchased from some (not all) of these online stores but I highly recommend researching before buying. Items marked * were sent to me for trial and consideration, all other products were purchased by myself and I am in no way affiliated with any of the companies mentioned unless otherwise stated. All opinions are my own and based on my personal experience. Integrity Always..

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2 comments on "What Is This Shit? Crap Products December 2014."
  1. Ha!! I completely agree about the Mitchum deodorant - I was worried it was just me! Good thing I didn't like it anyway, it didn't stop the sweating as much as the Rexona/Dove. The only thing I've been worried about this month was my first (and free) microdermabrasion experience... everything looked great the next day, but my skin feels rough and thirsty now. Hoping it will take the full 7 days to see the 'benefits'!

  2. I have the same problem with this David Babaii Miracle Elixir oil as you do with the Edward Beale one...."miracle elixir" my arse! Does nothing for my hair except make it look stringy if I've applied too much (which I'm prone to doing) & it does nothing to help my dry ends. It too contains silicones of some sort as the first 2 ingredients on the pack. I think I'm going to toss it, I just can't deal with it any more and I've just purchased a hair care pack with some oil in it, so I'll use that instead.

    Also can't deal with this tube of Eco Tan Natural Coconut Sunscreen that I purchased a few weeks ago. Should've waited for the untinted version to come out instead of purchasing the tint - I have to keep rubbing my poor face just to get it to sink in (which it doesn't do properly) + the tint stains my clothes if I'm not careful with application. (Comes out easily in the wash thankfully.) It does a good job sun protection wise, but I don't want to touch my face & then see product on my fingers...or see noticeable product on my skin after I've applied & worked it in. I'll tolerate it, but as soon as it gets close to finished, I'm tossing it. I love their exfoliating mitt though.