Because why not?

Soap & Glory - The Greatest Scrub of All *cough cough*

8 July 2013
I don't really know where to start. I know I have certain things I need to say about this face scrub, things that the Women of the Beauty World must know. Important things. Warnings.

Do you know the Invader Zim Doom Song? If so, commence singing now.
I picked this up in London, I literally walked in to every single Boots store that I passed (even jumping off a bus at the next stop to back track to one, several times) and these products were everywhere! The packaging had me mesmerised, everything was so damn cute and kinda weird, I fought the urge to buy them because I had never heard nor seen a single thing about them and I had already sent several large packages home filled with beauty products and cosmetics, I had purchased an extra suitcase to accommodate what I couldn't afford to post and I had started to encroach on dads suitcase. I was out of control. Then on one of my final days in London I walked in to a Boots, intending not to buy anything but knowing in the deepest recesses of my soul that I was a weak woman and I had never been able to leave a boots store empty handed. There, on a separate display case, was Soap & Glory in all it's errm.. Glory? There was also a large sign. That large sign was telling me that I could get 3 products for the price of 2.

I walked out with my damn Soap & Glory products; The Greatest Scrub of All (face scrub), Supereyes (eye cream) and Wonderfill (temporary wrinkle plumper). I was pretty annoyed with myself, I knew nothing about this brand and was confident that I could have spent my money on something better but I could justify the face scrub, I knew I didn't have much left at home in Melbourne and I hadn't bought one yet while traveling so that was fine, the wrinkle plumper was my second choice and sounded promising, it didn't claim to fix anything permanently but was more of a quick-under-makeup-fix and since I'm starting to have line issues I decided it couldn't hurt to try. The eye cream was just foolish, I had already bought 4 while I was traveling through Europe but since I could get it for free my idiot travel-happy brain decided that it would be a good buy (I won't discuss the last two products I bought any more in this post but you will get to read about them in up coming reviews soon). Now the purchase wasn't expensive, a little over 20 pounds for the 3 if I remember correctly but I was annoyed that I had caved and bought even more products that I knew not a single thing about. I will rue the day that I bought Soap & Glory home!
Trying to be cute.

About a week after returning I pulled out the face scrub and put it in the shower, I used it for the first time the next day. As I squeezed a little of the product in to my hand I was pleased with the pretty pearlescent cream with it's tiny golden spheres of what was bound to contain miracles and unicorn magic, as I rubbed it between my fingers I could feel that it had that super fine 'grit' feeling to it that I love and find in my favourite face scrubs, I thought I had judged this brand too harshly, I decided we would be friends, but that scrub was lulling me in to a false sense of security, oh yes indeed it was.
Tiny golden magical spheres...
Of nothing!

I gently rubbed the scrub over my face, it felt right for a face scrub but there was something wrong.. some of the micro grit pieces was larger than the rest.. and scratching my damn face! I struggled for about a minute trying to remove it with my eyes squeezed closed and precious water running down the drain, I gave up and started to wash it off, I was left with a residue, the sort of oily/creamy film residue that bad moisturising cleansers leave. Great. I washed my face again with my regular cleanser and finished my shower. And those little golden beads? They pop and seem to do nothing except smear tiny amounts of gold whatever-the-heck-it-is through the scrub, I don't see the point to having these in there at all.

Out of the shower I had some time to ponder how I was feeling. I absolutely loathe products that leave a residue, if my skin can't absorb it or it doesn't wash off clean then it's rubbish IMO. The few extra large and scratchy exfoliating beads felt so wrong and the results I had were nothing but mediocre, my skin felt average. I continued to use this product and continued to get crappy results. One fateful day, it destroyed the joy of showering.

I was jumping in the shower one day and I looked at the scrub.. The greatest scrub of all.. It clicked, the song, sung by the beautiful, late, Whitney Houston...
That was all it took, just once to realise why the name seemed kinda familiar to me. Now everytime I get in the shower and see that scrub I get the song stuck in my head, not for just a few minutes but all damn day. I can't stop singing it, thinking it and sometimes I even dream about it.

This has become a huge problem for me. The song, scrub and myself just don't gel. Let me break it down for you.

I believe the children are our are future - We are the future!
Teach them well and let them lead the way 
Show them all the beauty they possess inside - I see what you're getting at here S&G!
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier - Yeah! More power to us!
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be 
Everybody searching for a hero - This srub will be the hero won't it!?!
People need someone to look up to 
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs - But the scrub will won't it S&G!!
A lonely place to be - Oh God No! This scrub is horrible!
So I learned to depend on me - Never again S&G.

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows - Never!
If I fail, if I succeed - Definitely fail.
At least I'll live as I believe 
No matter what they take from me 
They can't take away my dignity - You can have your scrub back though.
Because the greatest scrub of all 
Is happening to me - No it's not.
I found the greatest scrub of all - No I didn't.
Inside of me 
The greatest scrub of all - Just stop.
Is easy to achieve - Lies.
Learning to love yourself 
It is the greatest love of all - I can learn to love life without this scrub.

So there you have it. Every single time I shower I have to put up with this for the rest of the day. I also experienced it while taking photos for this post the other day and right now while typing up this post.

Damn that scrub.

Ok now that I have given you an insight in to my madness I will give you my pros, cons and conclusion, breaking it down without any of my inner ramblings.

  • Fairly inexpensive.
  • Absolutely the most delightful packaging for a skincare range I have ever seen.
  • Could be good for really dry skin or people that like that 'moisturising' residue that some products leave.
  • With recommended use (pea size amount) this will last you a long time.

  • The residue is not ok in my eyes, when I use a scrub I expect my skin to feel super clean and it doesn't after using this.
  • Didn't really help flaky areas, had no effect on blackheads and didn't do much for controlling oil.
  • Had some large exfoliating beads in it, they were scratchy and uncomfortable.
  • The name of this products had turned me in to a crazy person.

Conclusion: I don't like it. S&G have great packaging but that's about it. Mediocre products just don't cut it with me. When you're taking my money, whether it be in exchange for a service or product, I expect to get what is advertised. What I got was a crappy scrub that drove me bonkers.

All Products were purchased by myself and I'm in no way affiliated with any of the companies mentioned unless otherwise stated. Links provided are for shopping examples only, I have personally purchased from some (not all) of these online stores but I highly recommend researching before buying.

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